Step by Step
by avidbookreader14
Summary: Lexi an Ex-Abnegation transfers to Amity...while she's seven months pregnant. See all the crazy twists and turns that come from this.
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to the world of Lexia. Before you read this story is based off an rp. I give credit to**

**LilacDusts for the characters, Toni and Jonathon,and Cesica (If you want to red Toni's experience I recommend you check her profile.)**

**Queenbee19 For Kim and many more to come. (She has some pretty cool stories as well. GO CHECK THEM OUT. but after you read mine)**

**CandorRarity For Paige (On her profile you will find a hungergames fan-fic. Her and I will be coming out with a series once school ends.) ENJOY**

"Deep breaths, Lexi." My dad whispered his hands cupping my cheeks. Quickly he added a kiss to my forehead. "You'll do great things no matter which faction you choose." My hands fell from hugging him to resting on my stomach. Which thanks to a Dauntless jerk was seven months pregnant.

"I love you, daddy." I found myself whispering back.

"Lexia!" My mother shouted from downstairs making me flinch. "Hurry we can't be late to the choosing ceremony." I felt like she couldn't wait to get rid of me. My father told me once that she just didn't believe me, and that she thought I slept with Victor out of a selfish act.

"I hate when she calls me that," I found myself reminding my father for what felt like the 700th time. "It reminds me of him, and that night."

" I know, sweetie, I know. Come on lets go." We exchanged hugs and wiped away tears before heading downstairs, and out to the choosing ceremony.

I chose Amity. After All everyone seems so accepting, and I hear its a great place to raise children. My child could have play dates, music lessons, anything he or she wanted. Everything I couldn't have. We, being the other initiates and I boarded a train. Goodbye Abnegation hello Amity.

Sitting on the train I tried to blend in with the wall. It seemed like I was doing a good job so far. Looking to my right I noticed a Dauntless boy trying to flirt with an Erudite girl. She was not falling for it. Something made my heart stopped as I looked at him. He had bright blue eyes, just like Victor did. IS it him? No, doubt it Victor is eighteen. On Top of that he had curly blonde hair not brownish black.

Minutes later an Amity member who seemed to be a year or two older stopped them.

"Um, am I crazy, or I'd there no fighting in Amity?" The trainer called.

"both." A boy called causing her to roll her eyes, it was obvious they were well acquainted.

"whatever, Liam!" She retorted. "as for you all," Her eyes met the three initiates. "no more fighting!" This time it wasnt the girl, or man that answered, Instead it was the ex-dauntless boy, with familiar blue eyes.

"not fighting, I'm flirting," Sighing I looked away and the conversation was lost in my thoughts.

After what felt like an hour the train pulled to a stop. A man who seemed roughly eighteen walked in. He had dark hair and squinted brown eyes leaving me to guess he was asian. Or something along the lines of that.

"Francescia Darren, your first please follow me" He called as he and the Candor girl walked off the train. I sat back wondering what was in store, and why we were called one by one.

"Kimberly Danica" He called soon after and the ex-Erudite followed him out. Again I began to worry.

"Lexi Boroff" The man who by now I discovered his name, Jonathan. I got off the and found a man running at me with a knife.

"Don't kill my baby!" I yelled moving on of my hands over my stomach and holding the other out so when he got there I could push him away from my protruding belly. However, when he got there her hands went right through him and he disappeared.

"Congrats you passed. Continue walking till you find the others." Nodding I did as I was told finally finding the group. I couldn't help but awkwardly stand behind while they bantered. Then they made us take turns creating songs around a campfire. I lingered behind not used to all this. I thought Amity would be a lot like Abnegation but happier, but its just happier. Looking around I began for the first time looking at Amity. It was beautiful, grass everywhere, trees small streams...How am I gonna live here? Did I make the right choice? My worried thoughts were cut off by the girl from Candor.

" Hi, my name is Francescia" I smiled at the kind girl who had walked up to me despite the fact I am 7-8 months pregnant. though what was I to expect in amity. I smiled.

"Hello." Suddenly I noticed the female trainer looking at me and gulped. Dang it I must have done something wrong.

"Sweet heart," she asked matronly, "would you please talk to me for a minute?" Making a gesture to an alcove of trees I quickly stood with difficulty, and followed.

"Yes ma'am."

"Darling, would you like to explain?" Her eyes wandered to my stomach causing me to gulp.

"Back in Abnegation I met a Dauntless guy...he lied to me for quite some time and I agreed to switch to his faction,but then after one night we, you know..Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant and never heard from him in abnegation didn't even listen. They just thought I did it for self enjoyment."

"Well," Paige said, "nobody here in Amity is looked down upon for past transgressions," My heart sank as she used the work 'Transgressions'. "We all work towards a brighter future!" she checked to make sure I was listening "If you ever need assistance, anyone will help you, me especially. I mean it." I smiled the sadness leaving my eyes. " Thank you so much, you don't know how good it is to hear someone say that. I didn't even bother finding out the gender because I didn't want people forming any other judgments," I explained before thanking her once more and walking back to the group of initiates.

"So, what did she say?" Kim, the Ex-Erudite asked her curiosity showing through. Grabbing my stomach I rubbed the sides in slight pain before explaining simply.

"Wanted to know my story behind the belly."

"Ohhh,"'Kim nodded, it was obvious she wanted details., "Soo.. What is the story behind it?" She tried to ask causally like a friend would, but she barely knew Lexi.

I smiled relieved people actually wanted,and cared to hear my I explained everything I had told Paige. She listened attentively. "do you know where i can get water?"

"yeah, theres a water fountain over there," I followed the direction of where she was pointing. Walking forward I drank the water before noting the look on the girls face. A look that clearly showed pregnancy terrified her.

"there is a few bonuses to being pregnant. like-Oh my gosh! The babies kicking feel!" I squealed. The past seven months I had to hide any excitement I had. This only made me more

"This is so exciting! We can take care of the baby and we can throw a baby shower and everything!" She said like a true positive Amity depressed about it, but now I could be open about it. I took another sip of water when suddenly I had to pee.

"What's a baby shower?" I asked confused. Kim got even more excited,

"OMG You dont know what a baby shower is! Its when we throw you a party and we give you gifts and play games and eat cake!"

"Oh that sounds do people do here."Kim shrugged,

"I dont know i was from Erudite, but the people hee seem all nice and artsy and sing songy." I was about to suggest we all do something fun but my words were cut of by Jonathan.

"welcome to the infamous Amity Orchards, please take a basket," He pointed to the smaller basket the initiates would only have an hour to pick today since they needed to find there rooms and get new clothes. " You have from 1 to 2, please pick up enough apples to fill this basket...Go!" Without hesitating I grabbed a basket and hooked it around one arm. Walking I had that waddle-like look of a pregnant woman, next I began picking the apples I could reach. Though I really wanted to eat the apple rather than put it in the basket but was there really a choice? Walking down I picking apples for a half an hour when suddenly I needed to sit. Propping my back against the tree I stared at the half filled am I supposed to fill that? Suddenly the boy with the blue eyes,climbed down from a tree and put a bunch of apples in my basket to the brim.

"thank you so much."I said with gratitude. "Really thank you i don't think i wouLd have filled it up otherwise...what's your name?"

"Toni." He replied shortly.

"lexi boroff." I said shaking his hand. "Its a pleasure to meet you." I stood smiling and waved goodbye, before walking to the trainers and handing them my basket. Once everyone was done, Jonathan led us to a beautiful outdoor mall and market. I had never seen anything like it.

"Initiates it is 2:15 please report back at 4 thank you and have fun shopping," he called. Suddenly Kim and Cesica walked up to me.

"You wanna shop together?" Kim asked flipping hair away from her face.

"sure" said Francescia replied brightly. Then we spent the next few hours shopping. In the end I had accumulated; a high low skirt,sandals and a few other outfits some I wouldnt be able to wear until after the baby.A frown found my lips as I began looking at baby clothes.

"I should probably buy a few things.."

"ooo," squealed CESCIA. Then I snuck off to change into a flowy red dress ,before picking out gender neutral baby clothes. Stuff with animals and fruit. After I grabbed a few packs of pacifier's before sitting down face in hands as my hormones took over.

"Who am i kidding i can't do this! I'm gonna fail and mess up the childs life." I wailed. Cescia lay a hand on my shoulder comfortingly.

"oh no your not, and ,eh I will teach her to be honest, Kim to be smart, and you best of all to be 'll be in the best faction for kids to grow up in, you'll have support don't worry."Kim nodded encouraging,

"Youll be a great mother,' she smiled, looking through the baby clothes. "What about his one?" She asked holding up a little pink onsie. Looking up from my hand I sighed.

"I dont even know the gender."

"that's okay I a lot of people do that on purpose so that it can be surprise!" Cescia assured.

"You guys are too kind. i should get a stroller..." I thought out loud without meaning too. Great one more idiotic thing ive done today.

"they are over there, we only have 5 more minutes of shopping time left though cause it takes 5 min to get back to the meeting place." Grabbing my hand Cesica le me to the strollers.

"Can you help me pick one?" I asked the two face lit up at my request making me laugh internally. Really? I thought this choice was more stressful than fun

"Definitely" Kim said smiling, going over to the strollers. "Ohh this one?" She said pointing to a little red one. My eyes swept over the cute apple pattern across the seat.

"This is nice...and looks safe. Lets get it and go." With that they bought the rest of the items and threw everything in the stroller, before walking back to the meeting place. They were led to their dorms.

I gazed out the window and spotted a couple kissing. Smiling at how cute they were before frowning. How I wanted a real relationship but it was too late for me. No guy wanted a baby that wasnt his. One stupid boy lied to me,tricked me and pressured me into sex. Now I am pregnant and getting ready to devote my life to whatever lay inside her womb.

"How on earth am I going to do this?" I asked myself suddenly alarmed as a hand rested itself on my shoulder.

"We'll help you, lexi. You're just going to have to take it step by step and see where it leads you. Now lets go get dinner." With that she turned and walked off.

"Baby steps." I muttered.


	2. Uncle Toni Chapter 2

**Okay chapter two! Its a little beige but I hope you like the end. Stick around for the baby shower next chapter. **

"Come and get it!" Jonathan called the initiates to dinner. I stood, again with difficulty thanks to the watermelon attached to my belly. No that watermelon is my baby. Toni walked forward his sunglasses falling. "Toni Andering." Jonathan called stopping the boy as he handed him his sunglasses.

My heart stopped and I could feel the blood draining from my face. Toni Andering...Victor Andering...both have identical blue eyes... The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. He must be related...somehow. Weak from shock I sat down hand on my forehead.

"My golly Lexi you ok?" Cescia asked being the first to notice.

"T-Toni." I stammered. "His last name is the same as..." My eyes wandered to the baby bump. I didnt want to call Victor my child's father. Cesica's eyes widened and a hand was placed on my connected the dots unable to come up with the right words to say. Even if she had them she was too stunned to speak. Finally I stood ignoring Cescia's gaping and walked up to Toni. "You have a brother?" I asked him. TONI gulped knowing his heritage was discovered,

"yes," he simply stated as a look of sorrow flashed across his face. I gulped not sure if it was good or bad.

"S-so your my babies uncle?" My words faltered as I waited for him to confirm this.

"yes, but I want you to know I hate him too," he whispered so the trainers couldn't hear and then grabbed his food. Kim, the girl he was flirting with was with him.

"Uncle?" Kim looked at Toni, then to me and realised what was going on. She must have decided it was best to stay quiet, because she didn't speak. My thoughts were cut off by Paige and her friend geeking over a ring on her left, ring finger. I felt happy for the girl who was recently engaged, honestly. But part of me envied the girl. 'wish i could have a boyfriend,' 'But no guy wants a baby that isn't his.' before Toni could say anything I smiled. " Well i won't judge you for your brothers actions." Toni's muscles relaxed.

"thank you," Toni breathed. "oh and Lexi don't be so sure you are in Amity," He added. "You seem really nice. And you are stunning so that helps." I was stunned not meaning to have said that out loud.

"Th-thank you. if you don't want to be apart on your niece or nephew's life that be okay."

"well, it needs a fatherly figure doesn't it?" He retorted as he sat down.

"you seem a lot nicer than your brother...or i think you after all the lies i'm clueless as to who he is." I meant for it to come out as a compliment but it probably didn't. I mentally slapped myself, one more idiotic move.

"I like to flirt, he does too but for the lust and to see how far he can push the limits which is where we are different." Toni replied causing me to relax. He didn't take it rudley so that was good. I nodded and hid a frown as what I thought was confirmed. victor didn't care about me at all. I was just another warm body he used.

"If you want im inviting you to be there when the child is born. You don't have to but-" My words were cut off as a look of pain spread across my face like butter on warm bread. Cescia gasped in worry. I deemed gaping and gasping as her trademark in serious situations.

"Oh my gosh what's wrong!?" Cescia asked. Toni looked startled as well. I took a deep breath.

"How far along are you?" Kim asked.

"Seven months...sometimes i get this-gah-ow0sorry, feeling." Kim bit her lip in thought.

"Its probably just braxton hicks." She assured as the pain began leaving. Everyone sighed of relief as we separated for meals.

"Are you feeling alright?" Cesica asked still worried.

"Yes I'm fine. I assured her. Uhg I can't eat anything I think Im just gonna go to bed." Nodded she bit her lip.

"Need help with the stairs? And aren't you supposed to eat a lot when your pregnant?"

"Sometimes...other times I can't. Anyway The stairs will be fine." With that I began making the climb up the stairs. Once in the dorm I collapsed onto the bed. "Bad idea." I mumbled. "I shouldn't have taken the stairs." Groaning I sat up reaching for everything I had bought.

The stroller took what felt like forever to fold. Though once the task was done it made more sense. Bending over I slid it under the bed glancing at the pile of clothes on my bed. After folding the clothes along with the baby clothes I put my hands on my hips. "A diaper bag,thats what I need" I thought aloud. Cesica walked in hearing my last words.

" I'm gonna go pick up a few more things." I announced making a mental list of things I needed. Diaper bag,baby blankets,makeup,close toed shoes. And more.

"Mind if I tag along? I need to get some things too." She asked.

"Of course." With that we left to the market. After awhile of shopping I stopped. "Is there any water?"

"Ya...I think i saw some back ther-" A lady from a fruit stand walked up with a glass bottle of water.

"Here you go. free no charge."I smiled.

"Thank you so much." the lady nodded.

"In this heat it be bad not to drink water with a baby and all." Cesica looked to Lexi as the lady sauntered off,

" hey you got some perks, you just got a free bottle of fancy water."Chuckling I took a sip of water. Im pretty sure all water in amity comes from a jar. Plastic is bad for the environment.

"I just hope i dont have the baby during initiation. I'd hate to have my first night with the child in a dorm. I would prefer having a house but i cant afford one,not on my own." I explained.

"well if that does happen I promise I won't kill the baby," Cesica said. My face paled as a lump formed in my throat.

"Why would you need to promise that?" My voice held worry and concern.

"It was a figure of speech an idiom, I would never kill anything I'm saying I won't get annoyed with him or her crying." Nodding I finally understood

"For a second I thought you were calling me an idiot." I replied with a laugh.

After shopping we headed to the dorm. Lying down I couldn't hide a smile. Today was so great. Amity was so nice, and the best part was no Victor. My thoughts drifted to how sweet and kind he pretended to be. That night as I fell asleep I dreamed of him, but the dream wasnt a dream. It was what had actually happened.

"Glad you could make it," Victors loving but harsh voice called as I sat in the grass next to him.

"I'm glad I could too." I whispered softly. Something about his handsome looks made my heart flutter inside my chest. Everyone at home would frown upon me if they found out about our romance. Everything would be okay though. When I turn sixteen I will change factions to join Dauntless like him.

"You're hair is so gorgeous. Shame they make you wear it up in a bun." Victor stated as he pulled the elastic out causing my hair the gently fall out of place he tucked a strand behind my ear. "You're beautiful Lexia. Even though they make you wear boring grey clothes. Your bod-Beautiful personality doesnt even compare with your exquisite looks." I could've sworn he was about to say body but before I could question the statement he tilted my chin up as he pressed his lips against mine and our mouths molded into one sending an electric sensation down my spine. I blushed as he pulled away choosing to lay next to me for a good five minutes as we gazed at the stars, he held my hand. Then I felt his nose nudging my jaw, this caused me to smile the feeling of his skin on mine as he slowly kissed down my jaw and the side of his neck making his way lower. "I love you so much." He breathed as I told him I love him as well. My world had been transported to a romance novel. One where the girl sneaks away to share passionate kisses with her lover. Like Romeo and Juliet, though hopefully without death. Suddenly without warning or permission he was lying on top of me kissing my chest. Feeling a breeze as my skirt was pulled off me and thrown to the side. Opening my mouth to protest I quickly shut it as his hands slithered down to my upper thigh. Part of me wanted to beg him to stop,it was too soon. Something about the way he made me feel,and his blue eyes allowed him to continue on.

He made me feel smart,beautiful,loved, cared for, and most of all worth something. He gave me something to look forward to. Our future. The rest of the night was unexplainable almost magical. I remember falling asleep in his arms whispering how much I love him, confessing everything about my life from deepest fears to deepest desires. Even my worst regrets next day

The next dawn I woke to warmth and slowly sat up opening my eyes expecting to be wrapped in his warm embrace but he wasnt there. Looking around for him there was no sighn as I lay alone, naked in a feild. The sun burnt into my skin as I reached over for my clothes which unsurprisingly had been thrown in a puddle of mud. "What a fool!" I shouted knowing nobody could hear me. "I told you everything!" I knew he was gone by the note that he had so kindly stuck between my crotch.

'Lexia your a very sexy woman but I think we call it quits it was fun while it lasted.-vick'

Ripping the note and throwing it in the mud I sat there crying for what felt like days but probably was only an hour."Im so stupid! I can't believe I fell for his dirty tricks!" Putting on the mud caked grey outfit I had worn the day previous that he had so viciously ripped off of me I wiped away tears. What had seemed like an enchanting night had turned into a haunting one. What had felt like gentle loving hands had turned into greedy blood thirsty ones that made my stomach turn at the thought. The way he cursed in pleasure and breathed my name made me squirm with discomfort. It was done and I would never speak of it again,


	3. She made a splash Chapter 3

I woke the next day to an announcement. Jonathan had declared the day off. Why? For my baby shower. Part of me was beyond excited. My first baby shower, and It would be my own! Another part of me felt guilty,as I did so often lately. Rubbing my eyes I changed into a yellow flowy dress. Smiling to myself I walked down stairs, with pain and difficulty. Once down in the common place I cafeteria I ate quietly before heading to the common place. Cescia and Kim were there and I could tell they decorated it. It was green and yellow, sense we didn't know the gender. Smiling I thanked everyone who came. Most of them I knew, or had seen but some were completely foreign. All the baby stuff made me want to throw up. I have no clue how Im gonna do this. I don't know much about babies. Heck im sixteen. I know in the factions being sixteen is almost like being an adult, but that doesnt mean Im ready for this!? Suddenly my mind swirled with thoughts of what could go wrong. I could drop the baby, It could die in its sleep.

"Man, I got bad braxton hicks.I dont even know if this is normal for only being seven months." I told cescia. She quickly jumped and grabbed water.

"oh well, hey! have some water it can help!" With that she handed me the water, and began taking presents and putting them under the large window.

"Thank you so much,really. Nobody had to do anything." I insisted. Anything would be better than what I used to deal with. Kim smiled.

"You're so welcome! And of course we had to throw this for you! Thats what friends are for," Cescia nodded her agreement. She was always so happy, id have to learn how to be more positive. Looking around I sat in awe of all this. Tearing up out of happiness. what felt like forever of silent judgments all these people I barely knew came together for me. Just me nobody special. Yet somehow they made me feel that way.

After a lot of games Kim clapped her hands eyes gleaming with excitement,

"Ok gift time!" She said ushering me over to a round table filled with presents. There was even a chair for me to was I to expect? They weren't gonna make me stand. "Ok go ahead," she motioned for me to open anyone I wanted, while everyone crowded around to watch.

"Thank you." I repeated and looked at the presents unsure where to Abnegation we didnt do parties, let alone gifts. Finally I picked one and began opening the gifts. The more I opened the more I realized how unprepared I was. Some things I didn't even think I would need. Suddenly I felt intense pain and leaned forward causing everyone to worry.

"Lex, are you ok?" kim asked, hoping it was just another short cramp.

"What's wrong!?," CESCIA exclaimed. A worried look planted across her my tongue I stood.

"It just hurts. I need to go get some-" I was about to say water when suddenly I felt something trickle down my leg and everyone gasped. Oh no...no. no no no. No this is not happening.

"we need to take her to the ER" Jonathan announced as Toni carried me out followed by, Kim, and Cescia. I wanted to refuse him carrying me but I was in so much pain, I didnt want to protest. Kim was biting her lip looking at everyone. What she was thinking was obvious. She was probably worried about how premature the baby would be. Cescia was freaking out and Toni, well I knew he was just being calm for our sakes. The group got to the ER, with me in pain. Kim stood and Jonathan explained to me and helped me get situated. I looked to the others,

"You guys are as freaked out as me right?" Kim asked.

"Im only seven months and two weeks!" I yelled in worry and milliseconds later everyone gulped.

"Yup." They replied simultaneously in answer to Kims question.

"you're the Euridite, what's gonna happen to the baby?" Toni asked trying to keep a calm, smooth persona. I sat on a bed trying to steady my breaths. Even me, in my state, could tell he was worried. I couldn't blame him, though. I felt terrified. Even though Im not ready, I couldnt live with myself if he or she died. Kim shrugged, focusing hard.

"Well, it should survive, but may not be able to eat breath or stay warm by itself," she concentrated then relaxed, "Yeah it should be fine, it may need medical care for a little but i'm pretty sure they'll both be ok," she sighed again and I could feel her calming down. I still wasn't

"do they have incubators here?" asked Cescia her brow stitched with worry.

"OW! What do I do!?" Cescia started singing a peaceful hym and Toni joined in. Really? Now was NOT the time for a choir rehearsal.

"just listen, breathe, and be Amity" Im not sure who said that but I wanted to slap them. Here im in pain and they're singing? I know they're trying to help... A midwife rushed in and after eight hours of hard work a baby cry filled the room.

"Its a girl!" The midwife announced. Everyone smiled and the midwife rushed the baby out causing me to worry.

"Wh-where did they take her...is she ok?" I asked, suddenly it was hard to breath as I thought of if she died.

"Well shes a premie, so probably to clean her up and to the incubator" she guessed, "But im not sure. Are you excited to be a mother?" The question bypassed me as a look of concern passed my mind.

"Will she be ok? When can I hold her?" I rambled.

"She'll probably be fine, don't worry yourself out. But I don't know when you can hold her, I never learned that much." Kim stated with a shrug. concern did not falter as I frowned.

"Wh-why'd they take her."

"Shes premature Lexi, some of her organs my not be fully developed. " Kim tried comforting but it didnt help. I just wanted my baby.I tried to get up but realized I was too my face in my hands I tried not to cry.

"I didnt want to sleep with him,but it happened. i didnt want to get pregnant,but i can't change that. i most definitely don't want anything happening to my baby." Kim tried to rub my back in a comforting way.

"Nothings gonna happen to your baby, no one's mad at you for getting pregnant its not your fault, its Toni's brothers fault. Just relax Lex, you're gonna be fine I promise" I yawned out of exhaustion but she couldn't sleep

. "I dont care whats gonna happen to me i'm worried about my baby." I tried to explain.

"Your tired Lex, you should sleep" I shook her head and tried to stand again

. "I need to see her."

"You need to rest Lexi, come on you can see her when you wake up ok?"

"No," I insisted. "I need to make sure she's ok." Toni walked out and returned with the midwife causing me to sit again. It was obvious I was going nowhere. "I just wanna see my baby." I muttered my voice cracking.

"we will bring her in an hour if all is well" Cescia assured. With that I lay back drowned in my worries, and sleep. Eventually I dozed off.


	4. Chapter 4: Leave me to rest, please

After a few hours I woke. Not even taking a second to stretch my eyes landed on Kim.

"The baby? is she ok? can i see her?" I asked my eyes shifting between everyone, and the doctor's. Kim smiled,

"The babies fine, i think you can see her?" She said questionly looking to the doctor who nodded his approval. A wave of relief fell over me like a warm blanket. I tried to stand, still weak from labor.

"Maybe we should bring her to you, " Kim replied. Leaving with the doctor they had returned with my baby. As soon as they brought her in my heart filled with joy. She had; red hair, just like me. Fair skin like her father and I, my nose and lips, his ears, and lastly those bright blue eyes. Paige stumbled wearily into the hospital room .

"By golly, Lexi, are you ok?" I remember hearing she and Asher had gotten permission, from HQ. To camp in a small meadow near the south must have told her I had my beautiful baby girl. Asher stumbled in behind her and threw his hands around her waist.

"Are you ok? Is the baby ok?" Paige asked quickly. This made Cescia giggle.

"The babies right there silly." I was still in shock looking at my baby girl. I didn't know I could make something that beautiful. After all those months, pain, and suffering I wouldn't change a thing.

"C-Can i hold her?" I asked in awe as if I needed permission. It was my baby but it all felt so surreal.I pondered what i'd name her. Kim stepped forward and handed the little angel to me. Carefully I held her close. She was so small, probably a preemie. "She's so tiny." I half whispered.

"What's her name?" Someone asked but I was too awestruck to figure out who did. My mind wandered to when my dad and I were coming up with names.

"Jessica," I stated. "Jessica Lynn, Anderling...or Boroff im not sure." I wouldn't mind her having Victors last name, because that was also Toni's.

"Aww thats such a perfect name!" Kim said quietly clapping her hands in excitement." Jessica is going to be the most spoiled baby in Amity!" My happy, joyous thoughts were cut off as Paige began speaking.

"Sweetie," Paige addressed cautiously, "I am sorry to be the barer of bad news, but the baby can't stay with you in the dorm. If you name a sponcer, anyone would be happy to house your baby until initiation is over." It was Asher's news to tell, but they had decided it would be better received if Paige said it. "Myself included." Paige added with a look of sadness,but rules were rules for a reason.

"W-what? w-why?" I stuttered. There was no way anybody was going to take her from me, ever. Cesica gasped and I could tell Toni was trying not to glare. I tried not to cry but the tears wouldn't hold back. "i-she needs me please don't take my baby." I pleaded. It was Amity rules could be modified if people agreed, right.

"has this ever happened before?" Toni said as a plan hatched inside his head.I could tell by the way his blue eyes held a mystery. Victors did too...I used to think it was hot. There was no way I was going to miss the first two weeks of my babies life even if it meant sleeping under the was in near tears explaining,

"Don't shoot the messenger! Babies aren't aloud because they might disturb the others, and because you need to remain focused on your project." Paige sighed, "You know if you don't pass initiation you alone will be factionless." she bit her lip, unsure how to put it, "Your baby is now an Amity, whereas you are not yet. If you fail, you will have to leave your baby." I saw a few tears run down her cheek, "I'm so sorry, Lexi." It didn't matter how sorry anyone felt, sorry wouldn't change tears rolled down my cheeks

"Please she needs me." I begged once more. Asher rubbed myr back in small,comforting circles.

"We can watch her if you want, She can stay with us and visit whenever you want?" Kim was upset. I was fuming and sad on the inside, but just sad on the outside.

"No we'll take shifts watching her,"Cesica began "this is the first 2 weeks, please this is when the child needs it's MOTHER most!"Se exclaimed emphasising on the word mother.

its not right!"I wailed. "I spend seven months carrying this child to miss the all her first firsts." Standing despite my pain I walked out of the room with Jessica to get away from everyone. "I'll protect you i promise." I whispered to the little ange. I felt so honored to hold her. I could faintly hear them talking.

" Paige i feel bad, we have to find a way to make an exception, I mean its her baby it needs her mother," Asher interjected causing Kim to join in. " "The mother needs the baby, the body gives off a chemical that gives it a connection to the baby for a while, its hard for the mother to be away and may not be safe for someone so young."

"Oh please, Kim!" Paige was getting irritated. "Don't you think if we were aloud, we would make an exception?!"I could hear her crying she walked out. "Lexi, you and the baby can stay with me until you pass initiation, okay? You will have to go with the other initiates during the day, but you can come home and sleep with the baby."

"Please I-ill stay with you at night but during the day she has to be with me." I replied eyes lighting up. "Cause if you and Ash are leading us during initiation nobody will be home to be with her. So she has to come with me." It all made sense and it had to work.

"I will stay with her." Paige relented, "You cannot carry a newborn around!" A horrified look was planted on her face. "She will stay home for the 2 or 3 hours you actually do things each day."

"I-i have a stroller." I defended . After months of having no support there was no way I felt comfortable giving a stranger my if she was nice.

"No," Paige said, "you cannot carry a newborn around! It is not healthy!" I wanted to argue that she'd need food, and I don't really plan on bottle feeding unless necessary.

"Brooke can watch her," Asher intervened,"she doesn't help with initiation and I'm sure she wouldn't mind taking the baby. She could stay with the baby, but near you during initiation"I held Jessica close in a protective manner.

"You really think i'm just gonna hand her over? Are you crazy? I mean no offense but I hardly know you." It felt like everyone had their opinions, everyone was debating without even consulting me.

Paige glared at Asher. "You cannot be seriously offering to have a NEWBORN BABY be MOVED around?" Paige was aghast. "Being in this hallway isn't even healthy!"

"Babe, chill out!" Asher said, rubbing her back in a circular motion. "You can take a baby places its not a piece of glass its a living thing." I sighed. She felt like a peice of glass, one I would be

"All this yelling isnt healthy." I stated. "That's why I came out here to get her away from the negative energy oh-no you're upsetting her."I said beginning lightly bounce jessica, and sing softly.

"I guess I'll just get Miss. Nally." Paige said, referring to the current, unofficial leader of Amity.

"No no please don't." I begged. "You can't take her away when I have to do stuff..." I couldn't keep the sadness out of my voice. How in the five factions did they expect me to do this?

"Paige come on just relax for a second, I'm sure we can figure something out, we dont need to get Nally," Asher said calmly to avoid conflict.

"I'm sorry," she looked me in the eyes, "I am." Shaking her head she helped me to the hospital bed, "You can be with her as much as humanly possible."Nodding my eyes were full of tears.

"I'm so sorry,jessica,"I'm the worst mother deserve so much better."

"No!" Paige caught my chin, forcing her to stop and look into her I just wanted to look at my baby "You will be the best da*n mother Amity has ever seen. And you are doing the best you can." She released me from her soft grasp, "Understood?" Her voice sounded sweet. I nodded my head yes still not believing. "I just don't want to leave her. I'm the only one who wanted her once I found out. I mean sure, I was terrified, and wished she hadn't come so early..."

"please, let her have the baby it already doesn't have a father, it needs a mother," Toni Insisted as he looked at Paige. His blue eyes matched my babies perfectly the.

Yeah it needs a mother!" Kim interjected. I wanted to correct her that 'it' was a 'she' but I knew it wouldn't make the situation any better.

"Its the rules..." I mumbled with a frown. Still nobody seemed to be paying much attention.

"Most mothers have fathers to watch out for their baby, I will help you out there." Paige winked at me in a friendly way, though I didn't want her to. She was really nice, and if I wasn't in this situation, I would probably love her. "You can go make friends, and I will keep your baby safe." That last remark made me want to slap her. I was not going to be 'that mom' who tosses her child around so I can go mingle.

"Guys I appreciate you backing me up but its the rules. I'll get to see the baby when im not busy." I stated louder mentally beat myself up. I'm such a failure...no way can I be a good mother. Its selfish to keep her...she needs a better home...

"ok" Toni replied simply. "let's take the baby back to the safe room"

"So ill see her when we're not out doing things,right?" I asked paige.I needed to make sure I would indeed get to be with her. "How will she drink? I mean I don't want her bottle fed." I had heard bottles were bad for babies somwhere.

"You can pump," said Paige, "You fill a bottle with your own milk through a pump, the bottle can be saved and your breast milk fed to the baby!" It wasn't the solution I was looking for. After All bottles can cause problems such as bottle lip. However I didn't seem to have a choice. "So ill see her when we're not out doing things,right?" I asked again as she began gently rocking Jessica.

"Yeah," Asher confirmed, looking at me and Jessica. Pulling her close I kissed the top of her forehead gently.

"Umm can someone hand me a blanket I think she's hungry." I stated even though she was barely crying. Immediately Cesica grabbed a soft,yellow blanket and handed it to me. Taking it I covered myself and began nursing Jessica, my baby girl. It felt so good to call her mine.

"Aw Lex your gonna br such a great mother" Kim exclaimed causing a lump to form in my throat.

"One can only hope." I replied.

"You definlty will, you can already tell Jess adores you" I blinked at the nickname Jess. It didnt seem to work for my baby yet, however I wasn't about to correct Kim. Maybe she would grow into the nickname.

"She wants me for my boobs." I joked with a laugh.

"Most guys do too," she said, glancing at Toni. I was a bit confused cause Jessica wasnt a he"But really Jessica loves you already"

Everyone said goodbye and left me to fall asleep. Jessica stayed snuggled in my arms as we both fell asleep.


End file.
